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Funny quotes >> Funny friendship quotes



Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate
A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.
There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money
Friends are God's ways of apologizing for our families.
Best friends are those who, when you show up at their door with a dead body, say nothing, grab a shovel, and follow you.
Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
An old friend will help you move. A good friend will help you move a dead body.
Give me one friend, just one, who meets the needs of all my varying moods.
Love is blind. Friendship tries not to notice
I have lost friends, some by dath, others through sheer inability to cross the street.
It takes a long time to grow an old friend
We must hang together, or surely we shall hang separately
Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and have her nonsense respected
You can't stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life
Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one.
Friends are relatives you make for yourself
Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn't seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces.
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
"I got a lot of best friends. Some o' them I don't even hardly know!"
Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty.
Friendship is a pretty full-time occupation if you really are friendly with somebody. You can't have too many friends because then you're just not really friends.
A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!
Money can't buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.
We English are good at forgiving our enemies; it releases us from the obligation of liking our friends.
The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people.
I got a lotta best friends. Some o' them I don't even hardly know!
We make our friends; we make our enemies; but God makes our next-door neighbour.
I hate it in friends when they come too late to help.
One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.
I have no trouble with my enemies. I can take care of my enemies all right.
A friend who is near and dear may in time become as useless as a relative.
A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such a good friend after telling.
Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.
Treat your friends as you do your pictures and place them in their best light.
The best time to make friends is before you need them.
Friendship is Love without his wings!
Business, you know, may bring money, but friendship hardly ever does.
Show me a genuine case of platonic friendship, and I shall show you two old or homely faces.
Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say.
Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends. - Lord Chesterfield
A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.
We're different; we're the same.
Choose your friends carefully. Your enemies will choose you.
Friends: people who borrow my books and set wet glasses on them.
Friendship, n. A ship big enough to carry two in fair weather, but only one in foul.
The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
I'm your best friend, you just don't know that yet.
Have no friends not equal to yourself.
The best mirror is an old friend.
A true friend stabs you in the front.
Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes.
A friend to all is a friend to none.
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail. A best friend is the one sitting next to you saying
I have three kinds of friends: those who love me, those who pay no attention to me, and those who detest me.
I cannot forgive my friends for dying; I do not find these vanishing acts of theirs at all amusing.
Nothing more cheerful than talking about our friends’ shortcomings.
Nine-tenths of the people were created so you would want to be with the other tenth.
A lifelong friend is someone you haven't borrowed money from yet.
When a man laughs at his troubles he loses a great many friends. They never forgive the loss of their prerogative.
False friendship, like the ivy, decays and ruins the walls it embraces;
A single rose can be my garden... a single friend, my world.
A man's friendships are, like his will, invalidated by marriage -- but they are also no less invalidated by the marriage of his friends.
A friend who cannot at a pinch remember a thing or two that never happened is as bad as one who does not know how to forget.
Friendship without self-interest is one of the rare and beautiful things of life.