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| During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel. | |
| Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them. | |
| If God had intended for man to use the metric system, | |
| Sign on baby's bib: SPIT HAPPENS. | |
| If you really love someone, throw the ball and say "Fetch!" (thanks to Karthik Narayan) | |
| What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend? About 45 pounds!! | |
| Why was Phillip's girlfriend annoyed? Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV. | |
| I was on a date recently, and the guy took me horseback riding. | |
| A girl phoned me the other day and said "Come on over, | |
| here cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full. | |
| Demons are a Ghouls best Friend. | |
| Save Your Breath ... You'll need it to blow up your date! | |
| I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by. - Douglas Adams | |
| Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener. | |
| Marriage is a rest period between romances. | |
| Love is holding hands in the street. Marriage is holding arguments in the street. | |
| Love is dinner in your favorite restaurant. Marriage is a take home packet. | |
| Love is talking about having children. Marriage is talking about getting away from children. | |
| Love is cuddling on a sofa. Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa. | |
| In love you go to bed early. After marriage, you go to sleep early. | |
| To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. | |
| To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all. | |
| Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. | |
| There is no reciprocity. Men love women, women love children, children love hamsters. Alice Thomas Ellis | |
| "Women add zest to the unlicenced hours." | |
| If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them. | |
| It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all | |
| Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics. | |
| Love your neighbor, but don't get caught. | |
| Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning | |
| There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love. | |
| Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand | |
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