Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I’m sorry = You’ll be sorry
We need = I want
It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later.
We need to talk = I need to complain.
Sure go ahead = I don’t want you to.
I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron!
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper…..
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive.
I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I’m beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]
I’m not yelling! = Yes, I am yelling because I think this is Important.
Nothing = Everything
Everything = My PMS is acting up.
Nothing, really = It’s just that you’re such an asshole.
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