The FDA is considering additional warnings on beer and alcohol
bottles, such as:
13. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you
think you are whispering when you are not.
12. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor
in dancing like a jerk.
11. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to
tell the same boring story over and over again
until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.
10. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to
thay shings like thish.
9. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to
believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you
to telephone them at 4 in the morning.
8. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you
wondering what happened to your pants.
7. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to
roll over in the morning and see something really
scary (whose species and or name you can't remember).
6. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading
cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
5. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the
illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter
than some really, really big guy named Chuck.
4. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to
believe you are invisible.
3. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to
think people are laughing WITH you.
2. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx
in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and
sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally
disappear".
1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually
CAUSE pregnancy. |
