The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early
retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a
bonus of $1000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points
in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.
The first officer who accepted, asked that he be measured from the top of his
head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a
bonus of $72,000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured
from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.
The third one was a grizzly old Captain who, when asked where he would like to
be measured replied "from the tip of my penis to my testicles." It was suggested
by the pension man that he may want to reconsider, explaining about the nice
checks the previous two officers had received.
But the old Captain insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the
measurement was taken by a medical officer. The medical officer arrived and
instructed the Captain to "drop 'em," which he did. The medical officer placed
the tape measure on the tip of the Captain's penis and began to work back.
"My God!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"
The Captain calmly replied "Vietnam."
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