“40-ish”: Over 50 and looking for a 25 year-old
“Athletic”: Watches a lot of sports on TV
“Average looking”: Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back
“Educated”: Will patronize you all the time
“Free Spirit”: Will bang anything that moves
“Friendship first”: As long as friendship involves sex
“Good looking”: Arrogant
“Very good looking”: Dumb as a board
“Honest”: Pathological Liar
“Huggable”: Overweight and hairy like a bear
“Likes to cuddle”: Insecure mama’s boy
“Mature”: Older than your father
“Open-minded”: Wants to have threesomes with your friends
“Physically fit”: Does a lot of beer can curls
“Poet”: Wrote ex-girlfriend’s phone number on a bathroom stall
“Sensitive”: Cries if you want him to go see a chick flick
“Very sensitive”: Gay, just wants to procreate
“Spiritual”: Got laid in a cemetery once
“Stable”: Arrested for stalking, but not convicted
“Thoughtful”: Says “Excuse me” when he farts
What woman write and what it really
mean:
“40-ish”: 49 years old
“Adventurer”: Slept around a lot
“Athletic”: Flat chest
“Average looking”: Has a face like a bull dog
“Beautiful”: Pathological liar
“Contagious Smile”: Does a lot of ecstasy
“Educated”: Bitchy know-it-all
“Emotionally Secure”: Heavily medicated
“Feminist”: Lesbian just looking to procreate
“Free Spirit”: Junkie
“Friendship first”: Trying to live down reputation as a slut
“Fun”: Annoying
“New-Age”: Lots of body hair
“Old-fashioned”: Lights out, missionary position only
“Open-minded”: Desperate
“Outgoing”: Loud and obnoxious
“Passionate”: Sloppy drunk
“Poet”: Depressive schizophrenic
“Reubenesque”: Fat
“Romantic”: Looks good only in candle light
“Social”: Has been passed around like an hors d’oeuvres tray
“Voluptuous”: Very fat
“Wants Soul mate”: Stalker
“Young at heart”: Old hag
|
