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| Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end. | |
| Braille dictionary for sale. Must see to appreciate. | |
| FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. | |
| Help wanted, singer for rock band. Must be female or male. | |
| For sale, Hope Chest, brand new, half off, long story. | |
| Help wanted, adult or mature teenager to baby-sit. One dollar an hour. | |
| For sale: a quilted high chair that can be made into a table, | |
| Four-posted bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover. | |
| Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel. | |
| Christmas sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to- find person. | |
| Wanted, man to take care of cows that does not smoke or drink. | |
| Three-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred. | |
| Tired of working for only $9.75 per hour? We offer profit sharing and flexible hours. Starting pay: $7 -- $9 per hour. | |
| Our sofa seats the whole mob and it’s made of 100% Italian leather. | |
| Full sized mattress. 20 year warranty. Like New. Slight urine smell. | |
| Nordic Track $300 hardly used, call Chubby. | |
| Joining nudist colony! Must sell washer and dryer $300. | |
| Open house body shapers toning salon free coffee and donuts | |
| Found: dirty white dog. Looks like a rat... been out while. Better be reward. | |
| Exercise equipment: Queen Size Mattress & Box Springs - $175. | |
| ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER. | |
| Free Yorkshire Terrier: 8 years old. Hateful little dog. | |
| Free puppies: ½ cocker spaniel, ½ sneaky neighbor’s dog. | |
| Free puppies: part German Shepherd, part stupid dog. | |
| German Shepherd, 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German. Free. | |
| Snow Blower for sale…only used on snowy days. | |
| Bill’s Septic Cleaning: “We Haul American-Made Products." | |
| Cows, calves never bred…also 1 gay bull for sale. | |
| Nice Parachute – Never opened. Used once. | |
| Hummels – Largest selection ever. "If it’s in stock, then we have it!" | |
| Shakespeare’s Pizza. Free chopsticks. | |
| Harrisburg Postal Employee Gun Club. | |
| Tickle-Me-Elmo, still in box, comes with its own | |
| Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply. | |
| Department of Redundancy Department | |
| The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in. | |
| BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding | |
| Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!" | |
| Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk? | |
| Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS... | |
| Smash forehead on keyboard to continue..... | |
| ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI! | |
| All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound? | |
| To write with a broken pencil is pointless. | |
| If electricity is produced by electrons, is morality produced by morons? | |
| A rabbi, a priest, and a duck walked into a bar. The bartender looked up and said, "What is this? A joke?" | |
| George Carlinisms | |
| I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once. | |
| Every kind action has a not-so-kind reaction. | |
| Taste makes waist | |
| When money talks, the criminal walks | |
| If you think talk is cheap, try hiring a lawyer | |
| It’s a lot easier to apologize than to ask permission | |
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