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Funny Questions

Funny if and why questions

If women with big breasts work at Hooters, do people with one leg work at IHOP?
If love is blind, why is marriage such an eye opener?
Why do most “reality” TV shows have absolutely nothing to do with reality?
Why do people put the milk carton back in the fridge when there’s only a teaspoon of milk left in it?
Why doesn't McDonald's sell hotdogs?
Why don’t they give you a knife in Chinese restaurants?
Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety-one?
Why when men get older, do they lose hair on their heads but grow more out of their ears and nose?
Why do people never say "it's only a game" when they're winning?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Why don’t people say, “It’s Only A Game” when they’re winning?
If the #2 pencil is so popular, why is it still #2?
Why is cargo sent by ships and shipments sent by cars?
Why do banks charge a non-sufficient funds fee when they already know there’s not enough money in your account?
During a flight, why do people treat those little one ounce pretzel packets like they're something really special?
If the bride is pregnant, should you throw puffed rice?
Why is the Department of Interior responsible for everything outdoors?
Why do we turn down the car radio when searching for our destination?
Why do people order a diet coke with their ten thousand calorie, super sized, fast food meal?
If you get an honorary degree from a college, does it entitle you to get an honorary job?

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Kids funny questions

If con is the opposite of pro, then is Congress the opposite of progress?
If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?
If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it?
Who was Sadie Hawkins?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
What would chairs look like if our knees bent the other way?
If you choke a smurf, what colour does it turn?
If you cross a four leaf clover with poison ivy, would you get a rash of good luck?
If all the world's a stage, and all the people players, why isn't there better acting on 'Baywatch'?
If a no-armed man has a gun, is he armed?
Why is the sky blue?
Where does the rainbow begin?
Does the sun go to sleep at night?
Why are oranges orange?
Do the doors at the grocery store open by magic?
Will a watermelon grow in my stomach if I swallow its seeds?
Do animals get married?
Why don’t we rotate but the Earth does?
How do the stripes get into toothpaste?
Why is there no warm ice cream?

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Funny dating questions

If you were in a white room surrounded by people dressed in white, what kind of emotions do you feel?
What's your favorite domestic animal?
If you were alone in a forest, how would you feel?
What's your favorite food? Give three reasons why?
If you where a bird, what type of bird would you be?
Why is sex so sexy and how can you make it sexier?
Why don't they make bullet proof pants?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
If I was trapped in burning building, would you run in and save me.
Do you live to work or work to live?
If you were deserted on a beach, give me three emotions you’d feel.
So what do you do for work?
I love it! I am too..and do you have a big family, brothers..sisters?
What's your favorite midnight snack?
What is the one, single food that you would never give up?
What is your weirdest "quirk"?
Do you have any relatives in jail?
Have you ever gone cow-tipping?
What's your worst pet peeve?
When was your last relationship and how long did it last? A probing question that will open up the communication.

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Funny life questions

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
When you're caught "between a rock and a hard place", is the rock not hard?
If there's an exception to every rule, is there an exception to that rule?
Is it appropriate to say "good mourning" at a funeral?
Why do we say we're head over heels when we're happy? Isn't that the way we normally are?
How come you can kill a deer and put it up on your wall. but it's illegal to keep one as a pet?
Why are women and men's shoe sizes different?
Why does toilet bowl cleaner only come in the color blue?
Does the postman deliver his own mail?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
If you undergo chemotherapy do you lose your pubic hairs?
When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling?
Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed?
Why people are so scared of mice, which are much smaller than us, when no one seems to be scared of Micky Mouse, who is bigger than us?
If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it?
If I had my legs amputated, would I have to change my height and weight on my driver's license?
If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off?
Why do they call it "getting your dog fixed" if afterwards it doesn't work anymore?
How old are you before it can be said you died of old age?
Do your eyes change color when you die?

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Trick funny questions

Why are 1968 pennies worth more than 1967 pennies?
Who created this pointless list of Tricky Questions?
What do you sit on, sleep on, and brush your teeth with?
Who's bigger: Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger or their baby?
How much dirt is there in a hole 3 feet deep, 6 ft long and 4 ft wide?
What familiar word starts with IS, ends with AND, and has LA in the middle?
How many legs does an elephant have if you count his trunk as a leg?
Name the most recent year in which New Year's preceded Christmas?
If Mr Smith's peacock lays an egg in Mr Jones' yard, who owns the egg?
What was the (American) President's name in 1960?
Is noon AM or PM?
If there are 6 apples and you take away 4, how many do you have?
What is the maximum number of times a normal sheet of (news)paper can be folded in half by hand?
How many animals of each sex did Moses take with him on the ark?
If a plane crashes on the border between the US and Mexico, where do they bury the survivors?
A farmer had 15 sheep, and all but 8 died. How many are left?
Is it legal for a man to marry his widow's sister?
How many birth days does the average person have?
Is it legal for a man to marry his widow
Why is it against the law for a man living in North Carolina to be buried in South Carolina?

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Funny couples questions

Do you like love games like master – slave, doctor – patient, teacher – student?
Do stuttering people stutter when they're thinking to themselves?
Do all-boys schools have girls bathrooms? Conversely, do all-girls schools have boys bathrooms?
If parents say, "Never take candy from strangers" then why do we celebrate Halloween?
Would you like to have more relationships in the same time?
If you were a bird or an animal what would you like to be?
Which is the song you can associate with my image
We are at a party and you see a nice girl but you don’t have the opportunity to talk to her. What do you do to make her aware that you like her, without hurting me?
You meet by chance a girl friend of mine at the disco. She is very happy and she is flirting with you. What are you doing?
I discovered you telling a lie to me. How do you react?
We are together at night, in the mountains, in a remote forest house. Will you wear pajamas?
Would you like to perform a strip-tease number for me?
You are alone in my house. What will you do?
What would you cook for me?
Would you like me to wear all the time mini skirt or to have a generous neck opening?
What would you like to change about myself?
When will you declare your eternal love for me?
What should I have to love me forever?
Do you have the patience to come with me when I’m buying a dress?
Can you make friends easily?

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Unanswered funny questions

If you really could dig a hole to China, and you did, and you fell in, would you stop in the middle because of gravity?
What are the handles for corn on the cob called?
Doesn't a lightning rod on top of church show a lack of faith?
Is "vice-versa" to a dyslexic just plain redundant?
Do butterflies remember life as a caterpillar?
Can bald men get lice?
What do you call male ballerinas?
Do sheep get static cling when they rub against one another?
Why do they call him Donkey Kong if he is not a donkey?
If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the center of the earth?
How come toy hippos are always blue, or purple, when real hippos are brown?
What do people in China call their good plates?
Why doesn't Winnie the Pooh ever get stung by the bees he messes with?
How come all of the planets are spherical?
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Why are dogs noses always wet?
Why does Jello have a smell when you add the powder in the water, but when it "gels" the smell is gone?
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
How come cats butts go up when you pet them?

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Stupid Questions

How come there's a greeting card section for new babies? Do they come some other way?
What is another word for "thesaurus"?
Why do they call steam rollers, steam rollers? They don't produce, get rid of, or have anythong to do with steam
If you soak a raisin in water, does it turn back into a grape?
Who coined the phrase, 'coined the phrase?'
Was Jesus a virgin when he died?
Where do people in Hell tell other people to go?
Can you "stare off into space" when you're in space?
Why are plastic bears the only animal you can get honey from? Why can't you get honey from a plastic bee?
How does Freddy Kruger wipe his butt?
Do movie producers still say lights, camera, and action when it is a dark scene?
On Gilligan's Island, how did Ginger have so many different outfits when they were only going on a 3 hour tour?
What happens when you put a lightsaber in water?
Does a 'Marks-A-Lot' marker, mark any more than a regular marker?
If you had a three story house and were in the second floor, isn't it possible that you can be upstairs and downstairs at the same time?
If people with one arm go to get their nails done, do they pay half price?
If a bunch of cats jump on top of each other, is it still called a dog pile?
If an escalotor breaks down, does it become stairs?
Why don't woodpeckers get headaches when they slam their head on a tree all day?
Why Does Pluto Live in a dog house, eat dog food, etc. but Goofy, who is also a dog, lives in a condo and drives a car?

More Stupid Questions

Funny answers

Q. What did the Chinese couple name their tan, curly-haired baby?
Q. What do you call a Mississippi farmer with a sheep under each arm?
Q. What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
Q. Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
Why do ghouls and demons hang out together?
Q. What's the Cuban National Anthem?
Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
Q. Why do Driver Ed classes in redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Q. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
Q How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the 'F' word?
Q. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
Q.. Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
Why do men want to marry virgins?
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Why is air a lot like sex?
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
What's the difference between a Northern fairy tale and a Southern fairy tale?
What is a Yankee?
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?

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